For Men: How Not to Blow That First Date And Get a Second One

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It’s a stressful time for all men when we’re facing a first date. It’s a stressful time for women too, but this article isn’t about them, it’s about you, a man. You want to make a good impression, and set up that second date so you can move ahead with whatever relationship or plans you have. But how do you do that? There are lots of things you need to take into account. Some of them are simple, some of them are a little bit more complex. But all of them are important. If you’re looking to make sure you have a second date here are a few things you need to think about.


Let’s be honest, everybody is returnable. What we mean by that is that there is always a chance that is not going to be what you wanted it to be. If you go into a date with high expectations, expecting a soulmate, a fascinating conversation, or pretty much anything else, you are bound to be disappointed. When you make a date, that first date, keep it simple and keep your expectations low. You are just meeting to get to know them. That’s all! Don’t think about anything else fancy. If you are yourself and you’re not expecting anything, you might find that you have a wonderful time. If you have a wonderful time there is pretty much a guarantee that there will be a second date. If you go in with high expectations and you show disappointment, then a second date won’t happen. 

Dress the part

You need to dress well for a date. We don’t mean wearing your favorite t-shirt that you wear to the football game and that pair of lucky sneakers that are barely keeping on your feet, we mean you need to dress like an adult, and dress for the occasion. Having said that, if you’re going to a football game, then the t-shirt and the sneakers are fully acceptable. But we wouldn’t suggest going to a football game for your first date anyway. If you’re not sure what to wear, and unfortunately most men are in this predicament, ask some of your female friends or ask your friend’s wife to critique you on what you should wear. Even if you think it’s terrible, it probably isn’t, it’s just that you’re not used to it. Tell a female friend that you’re trying to impress a girl on a first date, and she will take it from there.


Just a little about shoes, we have all heard stories about women that have dozens of pairs of shoes, in fact, all you have to do is go to a mall and see how many shoes stores there are to understand the importance of shoes. You probably only have a couple of pairs. So ask yourself, “Is she going to notice my shoes if she spends that much money on dozens of pairs of shoes?” Yes, yes she is, so your shoes are almost as important as the rest of the outfit. Make sure you have a good pair of shoes, whatever they are, and that they are well taken care of. Shoes maketh the man.

Keep it casual and open-ended

What we mean by this is when you go on a first date, don’t try and make some extravagant impressive (to you) experience. No helicopters to the most expensive restaurant in town, etc etc. Just go out for a non-threatening afternoon date, or an evening date, I’d leave it open-ended. Keep it simple with simple options to continue the date for a longer period of time if that’s what both of you want.


As an addition to the point on keeping it casual, this does not mean do not plan. You need to know where you’re going to go if the date is going to continue. So plan. Make a plan A, and a plan B, and a plan C. If you had planned on having a romantic walk on the beach, and she’s wearing stiletto shoes and a thin dress, this is not going to win you any points. So plan for the possibilities. If she changes her mind and says she wants to do something else, that’s all okay. Do not stick to the rule book, but make sure you have plans in case you have to. 

Cell phones

First and foremost, put them on silent or turn them off. If you really have to fulfill your addiction, then take your phone to the bathroom and check it there. But do not check your messages, send texts, look at Facebook or anything to do with your phone during a date. You are on a date! Pay attention to her. Anytime you use your phone you are showing disinterest and you’re not going to get a second date. So turn it off put it in your pocket and just accept.

 Who pays

You do! If she offers to pay half? Go ahead and let her. You can reject the money once or twice but don’t reject three times. If she wants to pay for the whole meal, understand that that might be a red flag for the future, just in case. But generally men are the accepted person to pay for a meal, so you pay for everything. It’s life. If you demand that she pay half the bill, or half to taxi, or half anything, regardless even if she is willing to do so, you just ended your chance for a second date.

 Be clean

Make sure that you are clean and showered. Yes we know that sounds crazy, but some people think that it would be okay if they don’t. They can’t smell themselves after all, so she probably won’t. Yeah, that’s not true. Make sure you have showered, and if you put on cologne make sure it’s only a small amount, very small. Same as your clothes, if you pick them up and give them a sniff test to see if you should be wearing them, you should not be wearing them. It’s as easy as that. Go overboard on the cleanliness and it will serve you faithfully.

Getting a second date really isn’t all that hard. She likes you enough to give you a chance on the first date, so you’re already halfway home. The trick is not to blow the first date so she still thinks you’re the good guy that she thought you were to give you that first date in the first place. So be yourself as long as yourself is clean, polite, well-planned, and nice. The easiest way to think of this, is the first date is for her, not for you. Make sure she enjoys herself, make no assumptions, and you have a good chance that second date. Good luck.

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